Chuck Norris

[PWEI]

...but Chuck Norris is too cool for school. This is just another thread to express how much I admire him.

[NekidMugh]

he is a living legend, a god in his own right I suppose

[PWEI]

amen to that

[NekidMugh]

the question is PWEI.. would you go gay for chuck :O
its kinda like the ultimate sacrifice... i just dont think im ready :(

[Number1killa]

the question is PWEI.. would you go gay for chuck :O
its kinda like the ultimate sacrifice... i just dont think im ready :(
you're not even worthy, chuck norris would use you as a cum rag, you are not ready to be penetrated by chuck norris yet, one day my son, one day.

[PWEI]

the question is PWEI.. would you go gay for chuck :O
its kinda like the ultimate sacrifice... i just dont think im ready :(

Chuck is too much of a man to go gay. Therefore the question is invalid I think.

[MysticKak]

he helps me sell the total gym at work :)

[Arandir]

1. If Jack Bauer was in a room with Hitler, Stalin, and Nina Meyers, and he had a gun with 2 bullets, he'd shoot Nina twice.
2. If everyone on "24" followed Jack Bauer's instructions, it would be called "12".
3. Upon hearing that he was played by Kiefer Sutherland, Jack Bauer killed Sutherland. Jack Bauer gets played by no man.
4. Jack Bauers calender goes from March 31st to April 2nd, no one fools Jack Bauer.
5. If you wake up in the morning, it's because Jack Bauer spared your life.
6. Jack Bauer once forgot where he put his keys. He then spent the next half-hour torturing himself until he gave up the location of the keys.
7. When Kim Bauer lost her virginity, Jack Bauer found it and put it back.
8. Superman wears Jack Bauer pajamas.
9. When life gave Jack Bauer lemons, he used them to kill terrorists. Jack Bauer fucking hates lemonade.
10. If it tastes like chicken, looks like chicken, and feels like chicken, but Jack Bauer says its beef. Then it's fucking beef.
11. 1.6 billion Chinese are angry with Jack Bauer. Sounds like a fair fight.
12. Jack Bauer sleeps with a pillow under his gun.
13. Lets get one thing straight, the only reason you are conscious right now is because Jack Bauer does not feel like carrying you.
14. Jack Bauer played Russian Roulette with a fully loaded gun and won.
15. Jack Bauer once won a game of Connect 4 in 3 moves.
16. Jack Bauer was never addicted to heroin. Heroin was addicted to Jack Bauer.
17. When someone asks him how his day is going, Jack replies, "Previously, on 24..."
18. Jack Bauer is the leading cause of death in Middle Eastern men.
19. Jack Bauer teaches a course at Harvard entitled: "Time Management: Making the Most Out Of Each Day."
20. All men are created equal. They are all vastly inferior to Jack Bauer.
21. Jack Bauer doesn't speak any foreign languages, but he can make any foreigner speak English in a matter of minutes.
22. Jack Bauer got Hellen Keller to talk.
23. Jack Bauer can get McDonald's breakfast after 10:30.
24. Nobody says 'hit me' when Jack Bauer deals Blackjack.
25. Jack Bauer is the 'i' in team.
26. When Google can't find something, it asks Jack Bauer for help.
27. Jack Bauer once double teamed a girl.. by himself.
28. Jack Bauer named his cat 'Chuck Norris.' Why? Because He's a pussy.
29. Jack Bauer literally died for his country, and lived to tell about it.
30. Jack Bauer once killed so many terrorists that at one point, the #5 CIA Most Wanted fugitive was an 18-year-old teenager in Malaysia who downloaded the movie Dodgeball.

[donthate]

ahahaha aradir you just gave me a fucking asthsma attack wow hahaa.

[oldschool]

...but Chuck Norris is too cool for school. This is just another thread to express how much I admire him.

i know what he looks like but i dont know what has he done to receive so much attention?

[oldschool]

11. 1.6 billion Chinese are angry with Jack Bauer. Sounds like a fair fight.


LOL

[netmothsah]

http://www.newgrounds.com/portal/view/298369

i made the sissy cry

[YJufo]

IN RESPONSE TO THE "RANDOM FACTS" THAT ARE BEING GENERATED ON THE INTERNET

I'm aware of the made up declarations about me that have recently begun to appear on the Internet and in emails as "Chuck Norris facts." I've seen some of them. Some are funny. Some are pretty far out. Being more a student of the Wild West than the wild world of the Internet, I'm not quite sure what to make of it. It's quite surprising. I do know that boys will be boys, and I neither take offense nor take these things too seriously. Who knows, maybe these made up one-liners will prompt young people to seek out the real facts as found in my recent autobiographical book, "Against All Odds?" They may even be interested enough to check out my novels set in the Old West, "The Justice Riders," released this month. I'm very proud of these literary efforts.
~ Chuck Norris



±D

[angelsbeloved]

11. 1.6 billion Chinese are angry with Jack Bauer. Sounds like a fair fight.
did he train them? :o
23. Jack Bauer can get McDonald's breakfast after 10:30.
i always miss the breakfast... not fair :(

[XeRoShot]

1. If Jack Bauer was in a room with Hitler, Stalin, and Nina Meyers, and he had a gun with 2 bullets, he'd shoot Nina twice.
2. If everyone on "24" followed Jack Bauer's instructions, it would be called "12".
3. Upon hearing that he was played by Kiefer Sutherland, Jack Bauer killed Sutherland. Jack Bauer gets played by no man.
4. Jack Bauers calender goes from March 31st to April 2nd, no one fools Jack Bauer.
5. If you wake up in the morning, it's because Jack Bauer spared your life.
6. Jack Bauer once forgot where he put his keys. He then spent the next half-hour torturing himself until he gave up the location of the keys.
7. When Kim Bauer lost her virginity, Jack Bauer found it and put it back.
8. Superman wears Jack Bauer pajamas.
9. When life gave Jack Bauer lemons, he used them to kill terrorists. Jack Bauer fucking hates lemonade.
10. If it tastes like chicken, looks like chicken, and feels like chicken, but Jack Bauer says its beef. Then it's fucking beef.
11. 1.6 billion Chinese are angry with Jack Bauer. Sounds like a fair fight.
12. Jack Bauer sleeps with a pillow under his gun.
13. Lets get one thing straight, the only reason you are conscious right now is because Jack Bauer does not feel like carrying you.
14. Jack Bauer played Russian Roulette with a fully loaded gun and won.
15. Jack Bauer once won a game of Connect 4 in 3 moves.
16. Jack Bauer was never addicted to heroin. Heroin was addicted to Jack Bauer.
17. When someone asks him how his day is going, Jack replies, "Previously, on 24..."
18. Jack Bauer is the leading cause of death in Middle Eastern men.
19. Jack Bauer teaches a course at Harvard entitled: "Time Management: Making the Most Out Of Each Day."
20. All men are created equal. They are all vastly inferior to Jack Bauer.
21. Jack Bauer doesn't speak any foreign languages, but he can make any foreigner speak English in a matter of minutes.
22. Jack Bauer got Hellen Keller to talk.
23. Jack Bauer can get McDonald's breakfast after 10:30.
24. Nobody says 'hit me' when Jack Bauer deals Blackjack.
25. Jack Bauer is the 'i' in team.
26. When Google can't find something, it asks Jack Bauer for help.
27. Jack Bauer once double teamed a girl.. by himself.
28. Jack Bauer named his cat 'Chuck Norris.' Why? Because He's a pussy.
29. Jack Bauer literally died for his country, and lived to tell about it.
30. Jack Bauer once killed so many terrorists that at one point, the #5 CIA Most Wanted fugitive was an 18-year-old teenager in Malaysia who downloaded the movie Dodgeball.wow rofl

[XeRoShot]

did he train them? :o
i always miss the breakfast... not fair :(mcds is gross

[Tika]

You're all monkey's. This shit is old, you still bring up shit that lost it's comical value like 1 month after it started. Here is a fucking stretch... why not try being somewhat original... you know, make your own catch phrase and shit.

[angelsbeloved]

mcds is gross
well when i didnt have ne food it was better then nothing

[Neverender]

Chuck is too much of a man to go gay. Therefore the question is invalid I think.
When Chuck Norris has sex with a man, it is not because he is gay, but because he has run out of women.

[Neverender]

You're all monkey's. This shit is old, you still bring up shit that lost it's comical value like 1 month after it started. Here is a fucking stretch... why not try being somewhat original... you know, make your own catch phrase and shit.
If everyone still brings up all these good ol' jokes, then a lot of us still obviosly find them funny. If you dont like em anymore ignore them. I for one still find them HILARIOUS.

[PWEI]

When Chuck Norris has sex with a man, it is not because he is gay, but because he has run out of women.

Touche!

Then to answer Nekid, I guess I would go gay for Chuck, but I doubt it'll ever come to that. So my butthole is safe once more.

[omicron]

I missed the golden age of chuck norris online =/ I'd really like to memorize some of those jokes.

[TestForEcho]

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[shemmy]

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[billy]

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Get one today

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